感謝

I can't lie and say I woke up happy today. That I was satisfied with the approximately two and a half hours of sleep, nor pleased with the persistently bitter cold, nor completely over the acrimony with which I shut my eyes and pouted to myself the late night before. It was a cold and lonely morning indeed, the bad taste in my mouth a vaporous swirl of residual resentment and whiskey and coke.

Cold.

And lonely.

And all the more reason today that I need to remember to be thankful. To count my blessings. To remind myself not only of the fortune of my possessions, status and situation, but the true strength of my character.

I am thankful that I have been raised by parents and extended family who, while far from perfect, showed me kindness and love and respect and faith and loyalty, and how to properly express them. I am thankful for every person and experience -- good and bad -- that has has helped mold and/or cut me into the man I am. A man of resolve, of will, of perseverance, of focus, of strength, of peace, of compassion, of consistency, of fidelity, of (perhaps to a fault) romantic tendency.

I am of course more thankful for the things I have than I have words to express it. But even more than that, I am thankful for the person I am, for I know that -- unlike the materials I own or have privileged access to, or even the physical body I enjoy -- that spirit will continue not only to last, but even to grow and deepen and improve. The same way I hope and expect my relationship with E to -- a magnificent and unspeakably wonderful blessing in itself, and possible only following the development I have undertaken (on top of ridiculously good timing on the order of pure destiny).

Thank You, Lord, for allowing me to see and remember that today, for bringing me blessings and challenges at the right time, when they will do me the most good. Please help me to also remember to use what You have blessed me with in selfless service to others, especially those to whom I profess my deepest love, and those who are less privileged, that everyone may have the opportunity to see more of You in themselves as I do.